First signs

My journey with Bell's began relatively early on Sunday morning of the 18th of August 2024. I had gone to bed the night before the same as usual, with no sign of anything wrong. It was now the morning of the last full day of a trip visiting family in the US for me and my son, Henry. Henry, the early bird, woke up around 6 AM and, like every morning of our trip, he let me know he was awake and I let him play a little on the iPad to give me a chance to slowly wake up.

I immediately noticed a mild aching pain in my left ear, but just thought it came from swimming in the pool the day before. It felt like I hadn't gotten all of the water out of my ear and I just planned on taking a pain reliever when I got up.

Around 7 AM, Henry and I finally got out of bed and decided to head to the kitchen to eat breakfast. My son went to use the bathroom, while I put on the orthopedic boot I needed to wear because I had fractured my foot about three weeks before. When he came out, he headed to the kitchen and I went into the bathroom. I looked into the mirror to check out my ear and found it difficult to open my right eye, but I didn't notice that anything else was off about my face.

I went into the kitchen to join Henry and my mother for breakfast and made myself some coffee and toast. Besides the throbbing pain in my ear, I felt a bit under the weather and fatigued. I took a seat at the breakfast counter, still not feeling quite awake, and began to eat. After a few bites into my toast, I noticed that my mouth felt a little weird, almost like as if I had gotten local anesthesia at the dentist. I took a sip of my coffee and some of it spilled from my mouth, which made me really start to think that something wasn't right. 

I told my mother about the ear ache and that I felt a bit under the weather. I also told her that I felt something was wrong with my mouth, like it wasn't working normally. She stopped what she was doing, took out her iPad, and started looking something up. A few minutes later, she asked me to stand up and she grabbed her phone. She asked me to smile and took my picture. When she turned her phone and showed me the picture, I was shocked by what I saw.

My face was askew, the left side of my mouth drooped, and my left eye seemed frozen!

An initial sense of shock set in, not knowing what to make of my "off" appearance. I was thrown completely off guard, as many thoughts began to race through my mind. "What is going on?"..."What should I do?" I thought. 

Henry and I were supposed to meet my dad and step-mom for lunch at 12:30 and I felt stressed about that because I needed to bring their car back that we had borrowed during our stay in the US. But I knew something was off physically and felt I needed to get checked out by a doctor right away.

We were set to fly back to Germany the next day and I was already worried about how I would manage travelling on my broken foot with my 7-year-old son. Now, whatever the hell THIS was that seemed to be happening to my face only seemed to amplify my anxiety. 

I was wavering between denial and reason. I knew I needed to make a choice, but simply wished for this to disappear. 

My mom, in her infinite curiosity, had somehow already read about Bell's palsy and quickly came to the conclusion, based on my symptoms, that that is what I probably had. She told me that it is a temporary condition and typically goes away on its own.

Conflicted emotionally by this information, I debated between simply ignoring what was going on with me physically and urgently rushing off to the doctor. I decided on the latter, reasonably, and headed to the nearest walk-in clinic. 

Having already broken my foot three weeks before (only one week into our trip in the US), I was nervous regarding medical expenses. There was a lot of communication and paperwork exchanged between me and the travel insurance already (which is absolutely the last thing I expected during a vacation). Now I had some medical mystery to deal with and wasn't sure how the insurance would handle it. After a short phone call, I got the okay from the insurance that treatment would be covered and I didn't hesitate anymore about going to the clinic.

I hopped in the car and started out, not noticing anything off about my eye. I arrived at the clinic after a 15-minute drive, parked, and headed in. After checking in and a short wait, I was directed to a examination room, where I my vitals were taken by a nurse and I gave a short overview of my problem. 

The doctor came in and began by asking me for a short synopsis on my problem, asking a few follow-up questions. She conducted a brief physical examination, in which she tested my reflexes to determine if I had suffered a stroke. 

Afterwards she left the room briefly, then returned with few follow-up questions, and left again. When she came back, she announced that I have something called Bell's Palsy. She explained the condition briefly and detailed the treatment plan, informing me about the prescriptions I was to take. She told me that the condition could last anywhere between 3 weeks and 6 months and that at that time it would be too difficult to tell how long it would last. She had ordered me to get blood drawn to eliminate some potential causes, such as Lyme disease, and a nurse came in shortly after and drew a sample.

I received a print-out with information very briefly describing Bell's palsy and a list of the medications I was to take, and then I was on my way. I left the clinic and called my mom, informing her about the results, that I was off to the pharmacy, and asked her if she could bring Henry to me. I noticed more pronouncedly that I was having some issues closing my left eye.

I headed over to Target (a department store), where the pharmacy was, across the way from the clinic, I went in and picked up my prescriptions. When I came out, I headed back to the car, I sat and waited for my mom and step-mom to arrive with Henry. 

While waiting, I cried. I felt very overwhelmed and unsure, clueless about how things were going to turn out. 

I saw my mom's car off in the distance and composed myself, knowing that Henry would see me. 

When they pulled up, I got out of the car and greeted them. My mom and step-mom seemed worried and Henry was very happy to see me, so I reassured them that it was going to be alright. While Henry jumped in the car, I collected his bag and told my mom and step-mom that we will be okay and that I appreciated them bring him to me. We then said goodbye and I hopped behind the wheel, but I should have asked them for help.

I drove off and put some music on for Henry, but it only took me a short time to realize that driving was a bad idea, as I found I couldn't close my left eye all the way. Within a few minutes, we were on the highway and I stayed in the slow lane, while I held my left eye closed with one hand. After a grueling 30-minute drive, we arrived at my dad's house.

The next four hours were spent trying to enjoy the visit, my last time with my dad (Bruce) and step-mother (Paula) for another year before flying back to Germany, but I felt overwhelmed by my new condition and not having had any time to mentally process it. I had been handed a pile of different medications that needed to be taken at different times throughout the day over the next two weeks, and I had no idea how to deal with an eye and a mouth that wouldn't close.

Although we had originally planned to stay longer, I excused myself to go to the bathroom and wrote my mom to contact my grandparents, who lived in the next town over and who were planning to drive to my mother's house later, for them to come and pick me and Henry up earlier. A half hour later, they arrived and Henry and I said our farewells. We got into their car and drove back down to my mother's house.

There, I tried to make the best of the situation and enjoy the visit with very close family I knew I wouldn't see again for a year. It was challenging, again, because of the new circumstances and I felt conflicted between wanting to make the most of the time with everyone and simply being left alone. 

After dinner wrapped up and everyone left, my mom and step-mom tried to tape up my eye again and eventually got it taped up into a good hold for me to be able to sleep. I then got my son ready for bed and afterwards went into another room to give my wife up an update and gather my thoughts about travelling back to Germany the next day.